Teetertottering on detoxing

We've got just a couple of weeks left before Christmas and I'm about to start a 15 day detox.  It'll bump me right up to the Christmas feast.  And I'm really having to talk myself into it.  It's a lot of work. There's the shopping list, the actual shopping, the actual preparation, cooking and then, yes, actually following through. Ugh.

The other side is how sluggish I feel, how tired I am not just at that 3pm slump, but most of the damn day. How puffy I feel in my own skin even though my clothes seem to fit the same.  I hate scales and don't use one.  It's just a preference.  My husband lives and dies by the darn thing, but me and scales....well we just aren't in much of an agreement regarding my self-esteem.

So I've hit the breaking point.  The feeling like crap is outweighing the work it's gonna take to feel better.  So I've spent the last couple of days working on the very first thing any of us has to work on and that's the mindset and negative self talk.  Because at the end of the day, I am NOT my body. But tell me that when I'm getting dressed in the morning and inwardly beating myself to oblivion because I some how don't measure up to the ubiquitous perfect 43 year old wife, mother of two grown children, business owner and coach.  Bleh.

Yes.  I said it. I'm a Certified Health Coach.  And it's important to me to share how much those that know better and want to teach people how to do better, also struggle.  We also fall short.  We battle some of the same stuff you do.  I've spent the last half of the year learning everything I can about how food makes us feel and function.  And how how we feel drives our lives.  How we feel about our relationships at work, at home, with our kids and with our parents; how we feel about our faith in life, in Spirit and in the world in general; how we feel when our body moves....and when it won't. At least not like it use to. Because once the day comes to an end you just want to plop your happy butt down somewhere and not do one more single solitary darn thing. And you know, like you know, like you KNOW that life was meant for more than this.

I've never believed that a joy-filled life had anything to do with the size of your pants.  I believe joy comes from an intricate connection between mind, body and soul.  And I think most of us have glimpses of this now and again.  I want more of that, don't you?  I think we all do. 

What does that have to do with a detox?  I think it's a launch pad.  A gateway...or maybe the gate itself. Sugar has the same effect on the brain as the drug cocaine does.  Did you know that?  It's almost unbelievable, but it's so very true.  If you had a clue how much hidden sugar was in the processed foods we consume, you'd be floored.  (Want a glimpse?  Watch the movie 'Fed Up' on Netflix.  Be prepared to be completely and totally ticked!) So when I oust the sugar, I've gotta make sure I can compete with the cravings, but I also know I'm starting with the best foundation possible.  A clean diet, a clean gut and a clean mind. 

So here goes.  Today I'm shopping for my detox.  My gift to myself.  Because I count, I matter and dammit, it's time.